Why do I feel the need to overshare everything about myself :(
stranger: Hi
me: *SHARES ABOUT TRAUMA FROM 2009*
It's a time when I feel like absolute moose dung and everything that happens sucks forever. If I could sum up how I feel it would be a video of me going, “Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh” for twenty minutes until I pass out in a pile of my own saliva.
I am definitely not perfect. I am very insecure most times. Especially on how I look. I always envy those girls who are absolutely flawless. I am always thinking "why can't I look like them?". I have way too many scars on my arms and legs from all the rashes that I've gotten ever since I was 11. Which explains why I am always wearing jeans, pants, long skirts, and anything that covers up my skin. They are horrible. And because of this, who would love someone with ugly scars on their skin?
We all carry scars that we have to deal with. I have plenty of scars, which happens to be on the outside, but I also have scars that happen to be invisible. In fact, I bet many others carry invisible scars. The scar of not being loved. The scar of verbal and mental abuse. The scar of abandonment. The scar of being taunted endlessly on a playground. The scar of a heartbreak.
These invisible scars speak to a private struggle that very few of us dare to voice.
I'm feeling quite emotional today. What's new.
This is worse than my Communication Skills teacher. My Comm Skills teacher was a horrible person and I hated her class, but she gave me an A for her class last semester which wasn't bad at all but seriously, a five?!
I did put in effort in her class!!! For our first lesson with her, she made us do some drawings and make something out of clay. I MADE A DINOSAUR. Yes, a freaking T-Rex.
I made a really nice T-Rex! It was very detailed! Even m friends were in awe (not showing off but serrriiiooouuussslllyyy) And guess what she gave me? An F.
Today's one of those days which I've decided that I don't want to go to school.
I mean, it takes more than an hour to just reach my school from home. Boon Lay to Buona Vista to Bishan to Yio Chu Kang. I HATE ITTTTT.
And there's only a 2 hour lesson today. So not worth my time.
Although I do know that I cannot keep doing this. Semester two just started last week, and I already skipped school twice.
First on Friday, I had no mood to go to school because c'mon man, I was gonna meet Boys Like Girls. Why the heck would I want to go to school.
And then there's today.
I've officially lost motivation for school.